Why?

edited note:  This started off as a short little blog and turned into something a little longer.  I can't promise this won't happen often as I DO tend to talk A LOT...about ANYTHING!  Feel free to join in!
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Now that I decided to blog it seems the idea's of what I want to blog about overflow.  Thats a good thing right??  I spent a good hour watching TV trying to come up with a blog title that adequetly describes my house.  "Dirty Toilets" was already taken, so was "Burnt IS A Spice" and someone already had my signature name that everyone knows me by, Titaniummom, the MOM OF STEEL.  I thought to myself that if it's sooooo hard to come up with a title how the heck am I going to come up with things to talk about.  Forgetting of course that I have a full life of things to talk about.

I figured this post would probably start out about something silly my kids did but no, and here's why.  I belong to a WONDERFUL group of ladies in an email type group.  It started out as a playgroup that would meet for our kids.  Then I think it evolved to meeting for us too.  And now, I no longer live in the same town but am so very thankful to still be a part of these ladies lives.  One of the awesome benefits that has come from the closeness and trust we share is that we can also share out lives, our pain, our prayer requests, our joys.  Lately it seems that the pain is a little more often than the joy.  Or maybe the trust has grown to share the pain more.  Either way, it's a GREAT opportunity to intercede on behalf of our friends.  Our prayers MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

My friend forwarded a daily devotional that I am going to post.  It's not my intention to do that often but when something really strikes me, I have to follow what I believe God is telling me to do.  And this is one of those times.  I'm trying so hard to do the right things in my own life and I know that I fail miserably at doing it.  I have so many questions for God about WHY WHY WHY things happen.  I am one of those people that don't like bad surprises.  I try to look at things with a silver lining, cup is half full type of look, but I know that sometimes I just want to wallow and cry out to God and ask Why in the HECK would he allow these things to happen, why let His children go through pain??  Why?

3 years ago I had a miscarriage at 20 weeks.  I felt her, loved her.  But from the moment I knew of her I knew that everything would be ok.  It was the strangest sense I had.  With the other 6 kids I never really had that sense...it just kinda was there.  This time I knew I SHOULD be worried about all kinds of things like finances, how will the kids handle it, how will I handle being a mom of 7 etc...and yet...this overwhelming sense of peace that everything will be ok.  And then we lost her.  And it didn't seem ok! And yet now, 3 years later, everything IS ok with that.  It's still painful when the day of her birth roles around.  It's still painful to wonder WHY she was taken so soon.  But it's peaceful knowing where she is.

I have friends who's parents have died in terrible ways, or friends who have also lost children.  I have friends who are scared for siblings and other relatives, for their lives and for their hearts.  I have no answers as to why God allows these things.  I've been asked if God is soooo loving, why would He do this or allow this?  What I do know is this.  Pain and suffering from change and uncertainties of life often leave people confused, angry and grief stricken.  It seems that when in a time of pain there is no end to the helplessness.  Maybe the question should be instead, is pain necessary and does it have a purpose?

Here's a great quote about pain:
"If you've ever endured sleepless nights and agonizing days because of unending pain, you're acutely aware of the following reality: We weren't designed for this! "Life wasn't meant to be this way!" we cry.  While in Eden, our ancestors experienced a life free of pain, insecurity, and anxiety.  Suffering entered the world because of sin.  Facing the fallen world requires great courage and a belief in life beyond this earthly existense.  Nothing could be more senseless than purposeless pain. In the grand scheme of things, is there an ultimate purpose for suffering and pain? YES! Through the agony of our souls, we experience God and may eventually realize that this pain-filled life is short in comparison to a pain-free life of eternity with God.  Pain reveals our hearts' desires and shows if our hearts are prepared for eternity. "

In Romans 8, Paul equates the groaning and suffering of creation with childbirth, not death. Our pain, like that of childbirth, exists for what comes after the pain.  And because we often forget that God knows what that is, it's not easy to trust him in the midst of the pain.  I'm trying to learn to trust.  I hope this devotional gives anyone in pain some verses to help turn to God and find Him when all seems hopeless and without purpose.
~Heather

From: DAVID WILKERSON TODAY <no-reply@lists.worldchallenge.org>

Date: April 12, 2010 6:01:06 AM CDT

To: devotions-en@lists.worldchallenge.org

Subject: THE WAY UP

Reply-To: devotions@davidwilkerson.org

David Wilkerson Today

MONDAY, APRIL 12, 2010

THE WAY UP

I have known of great Christians who have experienced a trial so dark and deep
that life itself seemed almost not worth living. In his very darkest hour,
Jeremiah discovered a glorious truth that brought new hope and assurance to his
mind. It was something he already knew about God, but it didn't touch his soul
until he came to the end of himself. He discovered that at the very bottom, God
was there! The farther down he went, the more God was to be discovered. God was
not to be discovered up there in some blissful soaring into untroubled skies,
but in the shadows of grief and despair. When Jeremiah hit bottom, he bumped
into God! He fell hard against the faithfulness of a compassionate God. Listen
to his discovery:

"God is a God of compassion...his compassions for me cannot fail.... They are
new every morning...great is his faithfulness..." (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Little by little, Jeremiah came to realize great truths that can only be
discovered by those who are down.

1. When I am at the very lowest point; when troubles flow over my heart like
water, and I say, "I am cut off," God draws near and whispers, "Do not fear!"
(Lamentations 3:54-57).

2. When God seems to have "covered himself with a cloud, so that my prayers
could not pass through," he will still see my oppression and will “judge my
case” (Lamentations 3:44, 59).

3. If the Lord allows grief and sorrow, he will at the same time uphold me with
abundant compassion and love (Lamentations 3:32).

4. God is not against me, trying to crush me under his foot when I'm down like
a prisoner in trouble (Lamentations 3:34).

5. God is not trying to sabotage any of my plans; he is not causing my
confusion; he is not working against me (Lamentations 3:35-36).

6. Even in my despair and bitterness, when I hated to face a new day, his
compassion failed not. His mercies were waiting for me, new each morning
(Lamentations 3:22-23).

7. Because God is always faithful, he will not cast me off. He will do right by
me and save me (Lamentations 3:25-26).

8. When I am at my lowest, I have nowhere to turn but to God, so I will lift up
my heart and my hands, and thank him for his faithfulness! (Lamentations
3:40-41).

9. Being down has spent my strength and hope. I am left empty and humbled, so
now I depend totally on his mercies! (Lamentations 3:18, 20-22).

Read this devotion online: http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/node/8230